


Henson and Ootah's gr8 adventurs

by Dhobi ki Kutti (dhobikikutti)



Category: Arctic Expeditions RPF, Texts From Cephalopods
Genre: Alternate Universe - Crack, Chromatic Character, Chromatic Source, Crack
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-10-26
Updated: 2012-10-26
Packaged: 2017-11-17 02:42:31
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,336
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/546757
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/dhobikikutti/pseuds/Dhobi%20ki%20Kutti
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>It is a well-established fact in marine exploration that cephalopods do most of the work without getting their share of credit.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Henson and Ootah's gr8 adventurs

**Author's Note:**

  * For [sanguinity](https://archiveofourown.org/users/sanguinity/gifts).
  * Inspired by [Texts From Cephalopods](https://archiveofourown.org/works/299805) by [volta_arovet](https://archiveofourown.org/users/volta_arovet/pseuds/volta_arovet). 



> A huge thank you to noldo and glass_icarus for getting the images formatted and uploaded for me, and for the beta services.  
> Also props to volta_arovet for coming up with the original 'Texts From Cephalopods' and thereby inspiring this particular strain of crack.

**Octopus Discovers a New Identity**

**Octopus Has a Mission**

**Octopus Learns About Sea Lions**

**Octopus Thinks About Documentation**

**Octopus Thinks About Biology**

**Octopus Sings the Blues**

**Octopus is a Master of Disguise**

**Octopus Practises His Communication Skills**

**Octopus Learns About Friendship**

_Transcript:_  


**Octopus Discovers a New Identity**

Octopus: hay squid guess what

Octopus: guess who i am

Squid: I am sure I have no idea.

Octopus: i am the reincarnation of matt henson!!1!!

Squid: I see.

Octopus: but you knew that already didnt you squid or shud i say Ootah LOL

Squid: ...

Octopus: see you have the strong silent sidekick vibe going already!

Octopus: this is going to be gr8!

***

**Octopus Has a Mission**

Octopus: ring ring ring ring ring ring ring OCTOPOPHONE na nanananana

Octopus: are you ready?

Octopus: ootah you better be ready!

Squid: Dare I ask what for?

Octopus: were going exploring! we shall conquer the never-penetrated depths of the deepest sea! wheeee!!!!

Squid: "We"?

Octopus: the captn said i could go along with him on his mission!!11!!!

Squid: You mean, the Great White?

Octopus: isnt he noble and cool

Squid: ...

Squid: He's a shark

Squid: A SHARK

Octopus: yeah and hes letting me carry his sextant!

Squid: Really.

***

**Octopus Learns About Sea Lions**

Octopus: hay ootah guess where I am?!

Squid: I do wish you’d stop calling me that.

Octopus: oh man you gotta see this its aMAZing

Octopus: btw can you google what sea lions eat

Squid: ...Are you near a sea lion?

Octopus: capn whitey said we needed to stop for liek supplies n stuff

Squid: Octopus, I want you to listen to me very carefully.

Octopus: call me by my name!

Squid: Henson! Pay attention! You need to be NOT around the sea lions.

Octopus: thats sorta hard were in a colony of them lol

Octopus: flippers r so exotci dont yuo think

Squid: Can you find a very small crevice to crawl into?

Octopus: how small

Squid: The smaller the better.

Octopus: size shouldnt matter lol

Squid: Have you taken cover?

Octopus: yuo made such a fuss abt it

Squid: Sea lions are not your friends.

Octopus: but dont you ever wonder what furry flippers feel leik

Squid: Your kink is not my kink, Octopus.

Squid: Your kink is not my kink.

***

**Octopus Thinks About Documentation**

Octopus: hay squid so wat do you tihnk i should call my dary?

Octopus: * dairy

Octopus: * diary

Squid: You’re keeping a diary?

Octopus: no pay attention i dont nkow what to call it

Squid: …

Squid: George?

Octopus: i mean should i call it a log book or a journal or a memior

Squid: I think just calling it a diary will be fine, Octopus.

Squid: I mean, Henson.

Octopus: but then i have to write in it every day and thats boring

Squid: You could just text me the highlights and I could edit them for you.

Octopus: yeah?! cool! yuor the best!1!

Octopus: ok gotta bail the commander finished getting overhauled by a suckerfish

Squid: TMI, Henson. TMI.

***

**Octopus Thinks About Biology**

Octopus: day 43: man dolphins get up to some kinky shit should i take a picture?

Squid: Remember the conversation we had about boundaries?

Octopus: but its for science man!!!! FOR SCEINCE

***

**Octopus Sings the Blues**

Octopus: ok hear are a whole bunch togehter

Octopus: day 55: the ocean is very deep.

Octopus: day 56: the ocean is very deep also kinda dark

Octopus: day 57: the ocean is still very deep and dark and kinda lonely

Octopus: day 58: i miss coral reefs

Octopus: day 59: … i dont remember if anything happened

Octopus: day 60: probably same as before

Octopus: day 60: captn whitey says that Forsaking all comforts of home and family to Perilous places of danger Builds Character and Fortitude and separates us from Spineless Savage Barbarians

Octopus: what do you think ootah

Squid: I think skeletal systems are overrated.

Octopus: you are a comfort and a joy to me ootah

***

**Octopus is a Master of Disguise**

Squid: Octopus, how are you doing?

Squid: Henson? Are your explorations proceeding on course?

Squid: I’m a little worried. I haven’t heard from you for a few days.

Octopus: im in hiding shhhhhhhh dont make me beep

Octopus: ok nevermind i figured out how to make it vibrate

Squid: Are you ok?

Octopus: hee hee ok that tickles maybe if I move it under my oops

Squid: ...Why are you in hiding?

Octopus: well its a long story basically whitey got into an argument with some orcas who are a little sensitive about their sacred mating grounds

Squid: Oh dear.

Octopus: no its cool only its hard to find cracks in icebergs to hide inside so I am in disguise instead

Squid: WHERE ARE YOU HIDING?

Octopus: check it I am one with the earth!

Squid: That is very clever of you

Octopus: yes even though I would much rather be fuchia

Octopus: fusiya

Octopus: fooschya

Octopus: pink

Octopus: but anyway they say the future is beige

Squid: Well, I agree that your future needs to be beige till the orcas leave, but you can be pink if you want.

Octopus: yeah? you dont mind?

Squid: I think you look lovely in fuchsia.

***

**Octopus Practises His Communication Skills**

Octopus: btw thanks for teaching me how to speak mollusk

Squid: Have you been talking to Cuttlefish lately?

Octopus: no but we got lost so whitey made me ask the natives for directions

Squid: Oh really. The ‘natives’ you say.

Octopus: yeah I met this nautilus and he was very impressed with how well I spoke the dialect

Octopus: I sed my good man can you tell me the way to the trench and he said oh you mean the hunting ground

Octopus: and I sed yes I respect the ways of your people so I will call it that even though the captain just calls it down there

Octopus: and then he sed follow me and we went and claimed it for all marinity.

Octopus: and then he invited me home and sed I could touch his shell if I wanted and I let him touch my tentacles

Squid: You are truly a credit to your race.

Octopus: IKR!

***

**Octopus Learns About Friendship**

Octopus: hay ootah did you know that sharks cant go down as deep as squids?

Squid: Dare I sense a parting of ways occurred?

Octopus: ya whitey said he was feeling peckish and there was this giant squid hanging about

Octopus: and she was ginormous!1!

Octopus: and whitey wanted to eat her and i sed NO WAI and tehn

Octopus: he came at me and the squid looked like she was going to come closer to see what was going on

Octopus: so went all black and squirted him!11!!

Squid: Good for you! I told you melanin would come in handy!

Octopus: yes but now that i am down here what should i do now

Squid: Well, you could always hang out with me…

Octopus: you LIVE here?!

Squid: Yes

Octopus: here were i was exploring?!

Squid: Well we are not all creatures of lagoons and coral reefs. Fortunately.

Octopus: oh

Squid: Actually, I have a confession to make.

Squid: I may have been… keeping an eye on you for a while.

Squid: In fact, if you look down, you can, er, see me waving.

Squid: Please say something.

Octopus: yuor a girl?

Squid: Well, occasionally I enjoy presenting as male in pseudonymous interactions but, essentially. Well, yes.

Octopus: YOUR INORMOUS!111!

Squid: Well. Um. I believe Colossal is the technical term. But. Yes, I suppose I am, rather.

Octopus: BUT THIS IS SO COOL!!11!!!!

Squid: Uh… that is good?

Octopus: THAT IS GREAT!!11!!

Squid: You can stop texting now. I can hear you.

Octopus: WE CAN TAKE ON WHALES!!!111!!!

Squid: …

Octopus: Ｃ:。ミ +<コ:彡 4EVA

Squid: Thank you, that is very sweet, Octopus.

Octopus: <3 ootah!!1!!!

Squid: …

Squid: <3 Henson. (You really can stop texting now.)

**Author's Note:**

> My apologies to those who might find it questionable to turn chromatic characters into animals for this of all challenges; I can only hope that my attempts to provide some of the elements discussed in [this thread](http://sanguinity.dreamwidth.org/94977.html?thread=576513&style=mine#cmt576513) do not cause offence to the recipient. Sorry for not being able to squeeze in the firefighters!


End file.
